Third Time’s a Charm?

I did it. I went to my final mandatory meeting at the NYS Department of Labor. I brought in my spreadsheets, my resume, and my desire never to grace those halls ever again, for as long as I live.

Once again, the waiting. Once again, the review of the spreadsheet. But this time, the employee of this fine, gray-walled institution took her time, flipped pages back and forth. Increasingly nervous, I asked “Is there something you’re looking for but not seeing?” “No”, she replied, “but I do have to make sure that all of the dates line up.”

Are you not impressed by my yellow header? Are you not enthralled by the breakdown of the minutiae? Don’t you want to praise me for what has clearly been stellar job search reporting?

Apparently not.

Employee of said gray-walled institution went around the room, inspecting everyone’s documents. When she finished, she said that there were a number of seminars one could attend to help with his/her search. Please know one very important detail about all of this…

I have 16 days left of unemployment insurance.



If you are not getting interviews, perhaps your resume needs revising. If you are not on LinkedIn you should be (there’s a seminar for that). If you are not networking, following-up, emailing and cold-calling… frankly, I think that if you aren’t slamming your head into a wall then you’re doing just fine.

I asked said employee how many interviews the NYS Department of Labor thought should be happening, and she said to me – completely straight-faced – one every two weeks. Holy fuck. When I told employee that I hadn’t gotten nearly that many she said that she’d be happy to review my resume and make any suggestions on how to revise it. I graciously accepted.

What? You don’t think she would’ve marked my record somewhere if I didn’t?



One thought on “Third Time’s a Charm?

  1. I admire your restraint in not smashing her face in and stapling her hands to her desk! Too harsh? Forgive me….but this feels like ONE FLEW OVER THE…..REDUX! You are the very portrait of a good scout! I admire you so much…now onward and upward remembering that whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger ( who the hell said that?)


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